I Don’t Have Enough Emotions for A Man; I’m Content with Dying Alone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Every time a man gets close to me, I let him down. I am blunt. I am detached from my emotions. I don’t say I love you often. I am super realistic. I expect older people to have tough skin so I show less compassion to them. With every serious relationship I’ve had with a man, he has always left heartless or hurt. Even my dad would randomly call to vent about how I hurt him because the last time he can remember I said “I love you” was when I was a little girl. I am selfish and I can admit that, and I can live with that. As a little girl I always knew that I would never get married because I very rarely compromise. I can’t deal with the same person for long amounts of time. And when I feel as if he is complaining to me too much or I just don’t feel like being a part of it, I either shut down or shrewdly walk away without putting into consideration their feelings. I don’t think these men are wrong to feel how they feel, I just know that have put more emotion into me, than I do them and that’s where the conflict arises. I hate feeling like I have a husband when I know I don’t have one purposely. I don’t want to deal with the emotions and the arguments. I’ll sacrifice me possibly having some blissful times with another, just because of that. The thing is that I let these men know how I am. I guess they think they can “change me” or see it as a challenge. But you can’t change someone that doesn’t want to be changed; you’ll end up getting your feelings hurt. And that’s why I tend to not feel bad because it’s not like I didn’t let them know who and how I am in the first place. Yes, that would be the big argument out of this whole post. If someone shows/tells you how they are…believe them and either take it or leave it without complaining.