It’s Okay To Wipe Your Hands Clean

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When people ask me do I still talk to “such and such” and I reply with a “no”…there is always the inevitable “why”. They think I hate the person, have some ill-feelings toward them. I actually don’t hate anyone surprisingly, even though I could bring up valid reasons to “justify” hating certain people. Hating someone is just ridiculous; there is always going to be someone doing something that you don’t like, but when you hate someone that means you’re still harboring on it. I do forgive everyone as well, but I never forget. When you hate someone, ultimately that does mean that you have some sort of feeling toward that particular person. So when someone asks me why I don’t associate with someone anymore, I simply just don’t associate with them because I don’t need them in my life. I choose to wipe my hands clean of them. And the person that I don’t want in my life isn’t necessarily what you would call a “bad person”. Some people: annoy me, like me in my face but dislike me behind my back, only want to cause me harm, want to be a part of my life forever but in the long wrong I know it won’t be beneficial to me…to us, , want me to give more than what I can give or even more than I want to offer, lean on me for every single thing, want me to be their Mary Poppins, want me to be their therapist, want me to just want me. I don’t want to be wanted by certain people and definitely not everyone. You don’t have to be in “cahoots” with everyone that you come into contact with. SN: Cahoots is my new favorite word. ☺ Anyway…there are people I have been best friends with in the past and I simply don’t want to be in cahoots with them anymore. When I see them around I have nothing in my heart. For whatever reason our association ended, I hold no hate, I hold no like for them; I feel peace. When I do hear about them, a mental picture of their face flashes and a bullet point about why and how we ended accompanies the picture…that’s all. When I see them, a mental picture of a bullet point about why and how we ended flashes. And some may call it childish or whatever, but when I see them I act like they never existed. And when someone wants to introduce me so this person that I already have had a past history of associating with, I introduce myself to them like they are a complete stranger. Sometimes I really do feel as if I’ve lived two lives. When I see or hear about some of these people, it actually does feel like another lifetime ago! And that is hilarious and weird at the same time. Sometimes I also don’t associate with people because it was another lifetime ago and I know that that particular person and myself have changed. Example: I used to be into the party scene (2009’s blogposts resonates this), and if I see someone from that time now, I’m skeptical of saying anything. I just feel as if we can leave that life where I left that life. Every time you stop associating with a person doesn’t mean anything bad or good. You as a person do have that decision to control who is and isn’t a part of your life. You don’t have to be friends with everyone for whatever reason. Life is about choices and you have that choice. But please don’t be an ass. If you end up having a mutual friend and you guys are at some activity, you can smile and shake hands after you guys have been “re-introduced”. If you are an ass to the person then you have lied to yourself because you still have harboring feelings toward that person. You can just forget about what you just read in this blogpost because this right here is not for you; your hands are filthy. Lol.

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