Music and Songwriting: Almost Losing Songwriting Forever

I came back to Dallas and spent the rest of the summer either at school knocking out some of my Journalism minor credits, or with my boyfriend, the guy who I had once fallen in love with and was dating again. He had consumed my life in a major way. Even when I was spending time with my baby niece, he would be there. I didn’t even really see my Cheap Phi Broke friends anymore. It’s just awkward always having your mate around. I’m not one of those people who care to have each other’s lives and friendships intertwined. So I decided that it would be best if we only see each other on the weekends while I’m in summer school. Funny thing was that he was in school too, but you would have never known it. He would not let me do my homework…he craved attention. And that is why the agreement was set up. The agreement didn’t last long whatsoever. The next week he wiggled his way back into coming over every day. Gosh, thinking about it makes me feel sorry for all the gas he wasted. We lived on the complete opposite side of town from each other. As I completely digressed, all I had time to do was get my Journalism stories done before he started complaining, and be attentive to him. I don’t recall a lot of songwriting time at all. Summer II finally ended and I thought I would get some time back…Sike! If we weren’t arguing, we were making up, if we weren’t making up, we were trying to keep the peace. It was a never ending cycle. I can say that I kind of didn’t mind the cycle. He was in love with me, which is something that I never thought would happen, I grew to love him. I tried so hard and hoped that I would get back to being in love with him like I was in my earlier years, but I’ve never loved that deep again. What can ya say? I entered Fall 2010 as a 2nd semester Junior and my focus was joining more organizations, losing a few organizations, going to karate class in order to get my fitness, staying on top of my grades, landing an internship with a record label and keeping my guy happy. Never once did I mention anything about songwriting. I felt that the beginning of the end was starting. I was losing my passion to college and to him. He ended up asking me to marry him and I said yes. All I can remember is that we started planning how long we would be engaged, to when we would get married, where would we live, would I still be going to graduate school, when would he be graduating, what type of Marketing job am I going to get, is he going to change jobs, when would we have our first child, how much would all of this cost. Like we seriously sat down and mapped this out to its entirety. Bad part about it was that I was actually okay with it. I got comfortable with building a life with him that I left songwriting in the dark.