Turning Over A New Leaf

Winter break was full of changes for everyone, mentally and emotionally. Yes, I will include myself into the category as well. My father got his prayer answered. I could tell without him even having to tell me what his prayer was. He had prayed for the day that he saw all of his children together. My younger brother, younger sister, and I are from my father’s first marriage, and he has two (2 and 3 years old) girls from his second marriage. This was the first time we had all seen each other because his youngest girls used to live in Northern California. We hung out a couple of time and even went to eat as a family. My mother…oh an emotional rollercoaster has she been on! She is going through a divorce with her second husband and I can tell that she pull “all he eggs in one basket” and is hurting inside because now she doesn’t know where to start again; 2 failed marriages. She broke down crying on the phone telling me how she thanked God that I stayed with her and my siblings during winter break. She was thankful because I showed her a good time and whenever she needed something I supplied it with no questions asked. Yes, I spent a lot of money that I couldn’t afford to spend on making sure everyone had a good time at outings and supplying the house with enough food and even purchased gas when my mother’s car needed it. She learned that family is the number one important thing, so now I’m just hoping that she turns her life around. Wanting to do better for herself is now in her plans. I just hope she doesn’t let the family down and actually go through with what she plans to do. My older sister is picking a wedding date. She also has had a failed marriage and this will be her second one. Also, I am expecting another nephew or niece from her in September. I know she is happy to be building another family the right way. My nephew has even given his blessing to his mother. Lol. He thinks he is running something. Me, well what can I say. I learned more than I can even put in this blog post. The feeling I get just thinking about the break is amazing! I did learn how much more important family is. I lost that feeling when I was in the relationship with my ex-fiancé that I now refer to as ‘ol dude’ as I smile. My younger sister told me something and I felt like my life did a 360. “I didn’t even get to spend time with you on my birthday because Dustin was always taking you away. Yeah ya’ll bought me something but I didn’t get to spend any time with you…my sister,” she said. She was right, I had never got so wrapped into a relationship to the point I lost sight of what my life should be like. I also hung out with my friends as much as I could during the break and it was great. “Finally you’ve gotten out of that jail,” is what they said. I didn’t like the constant phrase of “where have you been?” I was thankful that I didn’t even have to rebuild the relationship with them; they just took me in like I never left. I got to babysit my niece without asking other people to help me because someone else needed my attention. I got to focus all my attention on things and actually get things done; or better yet, try new things. I took on the hobby of cooking and it was great. I even got a chance to go to dinner with a male friend without someone thinking I was going to cheat on them. Everything was and is wonderful! The simplest things make me smile again. You have to be around the people that you love in order to understand. Especially those people that you strayed away from and they bring you back in with open arms, no questions ask. I learned never to wrap my life up in anything to the point where I forget everything. This doesn’t just apply to relationships (if you may think those are what I’m referring to); this applies to everything from being wrapped too much into myself, work, or anything else you may can imagine. My outside smile never left me, but the valuable lesson I got is to never let your peace and your inner-spirit smile leave you; life doesn’t make sense if you let that happen. ツ