Building Whose Kingdom?
Ever since I was a young girl, I had my own dreams, my own hopes, my own goals. I saw my dad tell my mom that she didn’t have to work and he would take care of everything. I didn’t understand how a woman could keep herself occupied, more so keep her mind occupied by just staying at home all day, waiting for the kids to get out of school. I would be bored. I didn’t understand why if there is another able body in the house, why couldn’t it work as well. My dad informed me that sometimes it costs more money to have both parents working, because day care/after school care is expensive. But then I turned around and saw him become a single dad, having to do everything on his own, which made everything he spoke about futile. People change, and it’s so easy to go back being solo; dependent upon yourself to do everything again. Being solo is completely fine with me…isn’t that how you start off? Two becomes one eventually…but you start off as two individuals. I’m currently building my “kingdom”, brick by brick, goal by goal, action by action. There are things I enjoy, things I love, things that spark my interest and I want those things to be a part of my life and be able to make me/keep making me money. I mean, after all, you have to keep the Wi-Fi running throughout the kingdom somehow 😛 . But here is where my dilemma comes in, and it just started this year…why does every guy that approaches me, wants me to assist with building their kingdom? Now don’t get me wrong, they don’t come out and say it like such. Does this sound familiar? “I think we could help each other out. I have this plan that I’m working on and I would love to get your opinion on it. We could collab. But I’m also interested in you as a person.” Decoded: You like me, you want me to be your mate and help you build your business. You want to take my intelligence and use it to help you, which you say will in turn help us. But that shows me that you see me under you, not on the side of you. You just assumed that all my help was going to be free if we were together. You just assumed that your plan was so good and glittering with gold that I would want to put mine on the back burner and join you. I’m confused? I don’t do anything for free. I would still make my boyfriend and even if I had a husband, pay a consultation fee. I would expect my partner to do the same. I don’t mix business with pleasure. I’m more business intelligent than a lot of guys. This brain, this knowledge isn’t for free. I know my knowledge is what makes a lot of guys attracted to me, but I can’t be used, I won’t be used. To make matters worse, I’ve had one guy ask me if I could help him and be his assistant. If when you look at me, have a conversation with me, and you see me as an assistant…you have the wrong one. I will make a guy my assistant before he thinks I will be his assistant to his dream, to his kingdom. I’ve also dealt with guys who didn’t come at me like that but does this sound familiar? “You could stay home, go shopping with your girls, but make sure when I come back home that you have dinner on the table and you be ready as well.” 1. I don’t just want to shop all day. There isn’t that much in the world that I could shop all day every day for. 2. Yes I can cook and I have no problem cooking, but if you think I will be in the mood to want to cook every day, then you’re crazy. Cooking is for nutrition, it’s not a chore. 3. When I’m in a relationship I’ve been known to have a higher sex drive than the man, but that doesn’t mean I will be in lingerie waiting for you every day like I am to be served on your platter; like I am a sex thing here for your enjoyment. I’m certain that there are tons of women who wouldn’t see anything wrong with the quote I just mentioned. Does a guy expect me to be so selfless that I would give up my kingdom, to put my effort into his? That’s like the guy and I both having separate living quarters, he suggests that we give up both or our 1 bedroom apartments to get a house because it makes more sense, saves more money, give us more space. The twist is he is the only one on the deed. So yes, I am more comfortable, I do have more money, but now I don’t own anything; I no longer have anything to call my own. If things go south, I now have to have faith in him that he would be generous enough to let me have the house or I’m assed out. Even if he gives me the house, how would I keep it up without his help? Hopefully I would have been smart enough to save the money that I did no longer have to spend. But what if the house, combined with all the utilities and taxes, eventually equaled more than I had saved, seeing that I would be fitting the bill for everything on my own now; hence why spouses file for alimony. But how much worse is it if you only have a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship? Assed-out! So why did I just point out all of this? It’s simple. I will build my own kingdom; you can build your own kingdom. If everything works out and the time is right, we can merge our kingdoms and have something even bigger than we imagined. But if I had it my way, I would build my own kingdom, he would build his own kingdom, we would keep both and build a newer and bigger kingdom together. I keep my ideas, my vision, my business. He keeps his ideas, his vision, his business. We meet in the middle, take both of our resources and come up with new ideas, create a new vision, start a newer and bigger business. But hey, maybe it’s just me? Maybe I’m the crazy one right?