Music and Songwriting: My Apologies, Can You Forgive Me?

It’s still Fall 2010 and Maria Mena’s ♫Cause and Effect♫ and Amy Winehouse’s ♫Frank♫ CD began to slowly mirror my life depending upon the day I had with him, my then boyfriend and now fiancé. I ended up calling the engagement off about a month later. No, just because I was 19 and he was 21, I didn’t think we were too young. I called it off because I felt disrespected that he told my father we were engaged over a text message and simply we weren’t ready. I wasn’t ready to commit myself as a wife because he kept pushing the date up and wanted to get married as soon as I graduated college. That would have made me married at 20 and I didn’t want to get married before 21. I felt he wasn’t ready to be a husband. He felt as if I put him in competition with my father, and I did because a husband is supposed to step into the father’s place. I felt that he wasn’t ready and wasn’t in the position to do that. Things went complete south after we went back to girlfriend/boyfriend. Boy did I start back songwriting! I understood that something like that could hurt a man’s pride but marriage and planning for marriage is a huge life changing decision. I opened my eyes and refused to be wife who skipped out on her dreams. I found myself always cooking for us, washing our clothes, cleaning, staying in the house lying in bed together watching tv/movies. Told him we would try it again in 2011 but we didn’t make it. He felt that I was cheating or had to be cheating, I felt he was becoming distant and always angry about something. The break I implemented ended up becoming a break-up and never looked back since. I started back songwriting like crazy. I started songwriting off of my dreams and daydreams a lot more, but my favorite became writing about “what-if” situations. What-if situation became a mix of my experiences mixed with my imagination. These songs were based on true stories, with a twist of fantasy…like “Based on a True Story” movies. I ended up connecting with the producer named Ikory and he gave me some quality beats. I started recording again. Now those songs have never hit the web. Why would an artist want to be by something that has already been leaked? I actually take my time on Songwriting Demos. I do about 6 to 10 takes of everything I record in order to make sure I get the best vocal…Vocal Producing.