Why I Don’t Lend Out Money
I’m not rich by any means. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon. I’ve never really struggled either because I learned from my dad how to budget, and when that money is about to run out…how to make things stretch. The homie God also knows how to make a way out of no way. At the same time, I’m just an adult who has their priorities in order. There are way more trips that I want to take, business ventures I want to invest in, clothes I want to buy…but I don’t. There are times when I don’t get to put money into my savings for that month, or I can’t pay as much as I wanted on a credit card bill and can only pay the minimum payment, because I have to “move money around” to make sure the necessities are taken care of. Growing up I saw my dad give money to family members because they called saying there were in need, but to only find out a week later that they just needed to pay their cable bill or something. Cable is not a necessity. We would go without because of my dad’s “giving spirit”. It’s cool to give, but make sure your household is always taken care of first. I have a bill list that I make every season (yes I plan my bills that far out) to know how much I need to work. I never have any money left over to just blow because there is always a savings, a Roth IRA, a business venture that I can use the money for. To my understanding, your 20s are here in order to set yourself up for your 30s and beyond. I say that to say, someone once told me not to give anything away that you would need back. Meaning, don’t give anything away that would make you angry if you didn’t get it back. And it’s so true. There are two incidents in life that solidified this for me.
Incident #1: I was in either the 2nd or 3rd grade. I was in band at band camp. Every day for lunch you had to bring $1 for lunch (a slice of Domino’s Pizza and a Dr. Pepper). My mom gave me $5 at the beginning of the week and told me that was it. So at the time I had a “play momma” and she left her money at home on Thursday. She said she’ll give it back to me on Friday since she knew how I got my money for that week’s lunch already and wasn’t getting anything else. Friday came and she told me she didn’t have any money. She proceeded to eat pizza with her friend (her friend had bought a whole pizza and shared it with her table). My “play momma” asked her friend if I could get a slice. The friend said no, and to be honest, I never felt anyway about it because it wasn’t her friend’s job to feed me. I was supposed to have gotten my $1 back from my play momma and didn’t. My band teacher felt bad and gave me a soda. Yes, I was thankful, but…I wanted to eat! Lesson: When you’re assed out…you’re just assed out. Don’t loan out your last.
Incident #2: I was in the 5th grade. I was a huge collector of CD’s. Every Tuesday that’s where my money went. I bought CD’s because I loved looking at the album booklets, reading who wrote and produced what, and yes I was nosey and read the Thank You section. My friend asked to borrow the Usher “8701” album. Cool no problem. She wanted to album booklet an all. I gave it to her but told to bring everything back after she was done. Oh, she bought it back alright…but without the album booklet. I was heated! To this day I still only have the audio CD and not the album booklet as well. Lesson: Don’t let people borrow things that are near and dear to you.
I’m always appalled with people ask me for money. I always wonder what was going through their mind. Why me? I don’t ask people for money unless it’s my dad. But since I’ve graduated college…I haven’t asked anyone for money. I know how to go without. Like I said earlier…I know my priorities. I will sell some stuff on eBay before I go around asking for money lol. But let me say this, if you need something…sure. I ask my friends with kids like hey does such and such need something? If they say yes I’ll go get it. I’ll never just give people money in their hand. I’ll give a gift card or bring/ship them whatever a friend or family member needs. Everyone I know has habits, including myself. Habits are things that people spend their money on that they really don’t need. Example habits of friends and family members: Weed, Smokes, Liquor, Designer Clothing, Shoes, Nails, Weaves, Clubbing, etc. My habits are Clothing and Trips. Habits puts people into situations like, not being able to pay your light bill, car note short, out of gas money, accruing late fees on your rent because you don’t have it on the due date. Habits will get you in financial trouble every time. And it’s exactly because of people’s “habits” is why I don’t lend out money. People’s choices are out of order a lot of times. Plus, I’m not a bank. This isn’t an ATM, Automatically Teri’s Money, like in the movie “Soul Food”. But going back to what I said earlier, money that I give out…I know I’m going to want back so therefore, I’m not just out here handing out cash. Nah.